The loneliness of a new city

I keep meaning to blog weekly but life just keeps getting in the way, you know? They say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so maybe if I focus for a month I’ll get into a decent routine.


Two weeks ago I wrote about my road trip as I drove from my old home in Adelaide, to my new home in Sydney. I had almost a week to unpack and settle into my new room, and then I was back to my dream job at SWEETNESS The Patisserie.

Whenever anyone moves to a new city, state, or even a new country, there’s always one common feeling: loneliness. It’s such a difficult thing to leave behind your family, friends, and in some cases pets (I miss my fur baby!). I knew this feeling would come, however I thought it may be less painful after having just lived overseas for 6 months. I had a bit of a “been there, done that” attitude.

Let me tell you now, the loneliness you feel when you’re alone in a new place does not get easier.

The past week has been incredible for me job-wise, I have had so much fun and learnt so much in my first week of 2015 as a full time pastry chef. However, working long hours and not having any social outlet really started taking it’s toll on my mental health – and I’ve only been here 2 weeks!

Today I ventured out into the city and met up with some old friends I hadn’t seen or even really spoken to for three whole years. THREE YEARS! To say I was apprehensive would be an understatement. I can be pretty darn shy sometimes so it was a little scary. What would we have to talk about? Would I just be an awkward extra person to the group? Would things be the same as they were the last time I saw them?

I am so grateful to say that I had the most wonderful day with the most wonderful people! The sun was shining, we ate Mary’s Burgers in Hyde Park, then Gelato Messina in Surry Hills and just talked for hours about anything and everything. To be able to get out of the house and interact with people who were not only fun to be around, but also so kind and welcoming – I feel so much better about life already.

The best friends are the ones who you can lose contact with for years, and then pick up exactly where you left off like no time has past at all. For the first time in the past 2 weeks, I feel hopeful about life outside of work. Everything’s coming up Taryn!

So what’s the moral of this story?

Moving to a new city is hard, and getting out and making friends or taking the chance on old ones can be even harder – but it is SO worth it. If you ever find yourself in this situation, it can be so easy to just stay home and get lost in your solitude but please trust me when I tell you to get out and interact with people. Call up that old acquaintance from years prior, join a class and meet new people, just get out and explore, have an adventure, and talk to anyone who looks friendly.

Advice that is certainly easier said than done, but is more than worthwhile!

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  1. says

    Oh Taryn, I hear you! When I moved to Paris in 1995 (!) I didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a job or a place to live. It took me a LONG time to figure stuff out. Same when I moved to Toronto in 2000. But it sounds like you have a much more sensible head on your shoulders than I did – and good for you for recognising that it is hard and lonely but that you must get out and do something about it. I have no doubt that you will make lots of friends in no time (and hey, next time I am back visiting my parents, we can hang out!). XO

    • Taryn Elise says

      You’re a very brave soul Mardi! Much braver than I am, and such an inspiration! I have so many people around me, you included, that have done way bigger and scarier moves than I have and it gives me so much motivation to try harder and make the most of it!

      – Taryn xx

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